Sssshhhh… Don’t be noisy!
Encourage your kids to tell stories is super important. Let them tell what they feel, let them tell what they think. Many parents are too busy with their own activities that they don’t have any time to spend to hear what their kids want to say. Some parents are even shushing their kids when they talked too much!
When you are not spending enough time with your kids, they will feel abandoned, forgotten, even devastated!
HEAR THEM, DON’T JUDGE THEM
You might have listened to your kids, but are you a good listener? Many parents are too quick to judge their kids based on what their story is.
Kid: Mom, today I went to play with John and other friends!
Mom: Oh no, why did you play with John? You should not play with him! He is naughty!
Kid: No mom, we play with a lot of friends, not only him.
Mom: Doesn’t matter, if you are going to play, you should not play with them. This is final.
Simple example, but this is what might happen every day in our life. Even if you don’t like John, for example, don’t tell them directly. When your kids are telling something, we might judge them, and most of the time we say bad things about it. If you want to be a good listener, you should ask a question to make them tell more about their story. For example:
Kid: Mom, today I went to play with John and other friends!
Mom: That must be fun! Who else is playing with you?
Kid: We played with John, Lisa, Helen, and Jack.
Mom: That’s great. What kind of games did you guys playing?
…
Kid: We had fun, but John is quite naughty. He pulled Helen’s hair two times!
Mom: Well, you should be careful with him then. If you feel he is being naughty to you, let your teacher know.
Kid: Okay mom!
The idea of this conversation is that you don’t judge and stop your kids from telling the story. Let it flow instead and make your point in an appropriate time.
HEAR THEIR STORY SERIOUSLY
When your kids are telling you their stories, please always listen seriously. That way you can see if they are in a dangerous situation, or they need something but might be too afraid to say it out loud.
This is one story that we heard a few months ago, from our foreign friend:
I work at foster care, and I can tell you some horrible stories about bad parent. One kids told his mother that he was molested by his step-dad and his step-brother, and his mother blatantly laughed at him. After a few minutes after his mother left, I asked him whether his story was true and he told me the most horrible things that kids can tell. I will not tell you what or how, but I almost threw out.
Our conclusion, please always be a good listener to your kids. You should not be judgemental. Listen to your kid seriously. Be wise and react accordingly.
Have you been a good parent? We hope you are, because we are always learning to be good parents too! Have any story to share? Let us know in the comment form below!
Ini sih yang orangtua suka banyak lupa. Mendengarkan, memahami, tidak menghakimi. Well, saat saya jadi orang tua semoga yang saya lakukan tidak meninggalkan luka di hati mereka.
Makasih infonya kakkk :3
bener banget! Jangan lupa untuk mendengarkan semua cerita dengan serius, sehingga tidak ada informasi penting / informasi tersembunyi yang ketinggalan. I believe you can do it!
Bener ini mah. BAnyak yang begitu. kalau anak kecil cerita atau menyampaikan sesuatu selalu dibilang kamu kan masih anak anak, dengar kata ibu, itupun kasi tahunya dengan kasar 🙁
Yep, makanya harus selalu ditanamkan pikiran bahwa anak kecil pun harus didengarkan dengan baik. 🙂
Wah, orang tua yang luar biasa. Terus memberikan teladan dan ilmu yang menarik
Wajib ko, biar generasi selanjutnya bisa berkembang jadi generasi yang keren semua. Make the world a better place to stay!
kadang orang tua nggak menghargai bahwa anak kecil adalah pribadi yang harus didengarkan dan dihargai
Kalo saya, lebih terbuka juga ama anak-anak. Tiap anak cerita, jadi good listener dulu. Kadang dia nya suka cerita tentang sekolah n teman2nya. dan saya lebih sering dengar gaya bahasanya ngomong gimana? selama masih dalam standar anak-anak, its ok. Tapi kalo dah dapat “kosakata” baru dari teman, langsung saya cut, gak mau denger.
Setuju. Dengarkan mereka, lihat matanya yang bebinar, rasakan apa yang mereka rasakan. Mereka memang anak kecil, tapi mereka punya hak yang sama seperti kita yang ingin dihargai dan dipahami.
MasyaaAllah. ini nih yang kadang suka lupa: judgement. Kadang suka nggak sadar udah langsung memberikan final statement ke anak dia nggak boleh ini atau itu dan harusnya begini dan begitu padahal ceritanya mungkin bukan ke arah situ. makasih dah diingatkan ce.
Suka banget ma artikelnya yang berhubungan dengan parenting.. bener banget jangan sampai kata2 tuh mempengaruhi anak
Setuju banget. Jadi orang tua itu harus lebih banyak mendengar dan memahami anak. Bukan malah menghakimi tanpa alasan. Nice article
I could’t agree more with this article. You did tell what many parents have done to their kids, especially who do not have appropriate knowledge about parenting. We must happy and
enthusiastic to listen our kids so they will be brave persons to express their ideas.
amazing inspiration … i will learn this way to taught my children
important lesson
hear them, dont annoy them
Setuju dengan artikel ini.
Mendengarkan anak itu harus dengan serius dan tidak buru-buru memotong permbicaraan anak. Jadi anak merasa diperhatikan.
Terima kasih ce sudah mengingatkan 🙂